If children are being menaced at school or on the bus, role-playing can help them figure out how to tackle the situation by themselves without your involvement. Brainstorm some ideas for quick, simple responses and approaches. Quit it. A confident silent treatment followed by walking away can convey an air of quiet cool and self-control. A discreet conversation between the child and a trusted adult at the school can work wonders.
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As you brainstorm with your child, stress the importance of building a support network of trusted peers. This is especially true if your child no longer wants to go to school, has declining grades, has noticeable changes in sleeping and eating patterns, or is losing interest in favorite activities or friendships. Bullying is a real culprit; shame is a big driver of suicide. Sign up here. Parents should be on high alert for damaging patterns of thought dogging their kids.
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After all, the bullying behaviors will not end unless your child takes responsibility for her actions, admits her mistakes and learns how to change her behavior. Doing so demonstrates not only that you aware of the situation, but also that bullying is unacceptable and will not be tolerated. Although you do not have to list the consequences immediately, you do need to talk to your child about her actions.
So your kid is a bully. Here’s how to stop it.
Let her know that she will be disciplined for her choices. In order to develop the correct plan of discipline for your child, you need to find out why your child chose to bully another child. But remember, do not give your child an excuse for her behavior. Instead, this information will give you an idea of how to address her poor choices and discipline her appropriately.
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And she is responsible for her actions. Be sure that your child owns her choice and accepts responsibility.
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Sometimes kids refuse to take responsibility. Do not let this attitude slide. Continue discussing the situation until your child can communicate that she understands her responsibility. Likewise, if your child used her status on the cheerleading squad to bully others or bullied others because she is part of a clique, then she should lose that status for a period of time.
What to do if your Child is Bullied - Help Kids Deal With Bullies
Just remember that every bullying situation is different and as a result, the consequences will be different. Losing privileges is a popular form of discipline for teens and is usually very effective. For example, you can take away electronics, the use of the family car, the privilege of attending parties or special events, social media use and even the ability to stay home alone. The list is endless. The point is to demonstrate that bullying behavior has consequences and will not be tolerated.
Also, be clear on the length of time that the privilege will be revoked. When you partner with the school and support the plan they are implementing, you are allowing your children to learn a valuable life lesson. It also shows them that there are consequences for bad choices and Mom or Dad will not rescue them.
The worst decision you could make is to enable her bad decisions by attempting to rescue her from the pain of consequences. Are there skills your child is lacking that may prevent future bullying incidents like anger management and impulse control?
- What to Do If Your Child Is Being Bullied |… | PBS KIDS for Parents.
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If so, this could be a self-esteem issue. Focus on identifying a solution with your child. Your attitude will influence your child. A confident, positive and resilient attitude can help to stop bullying from continuing. Children can be reluctant to tell someone else about bullying.
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Sometimes children don't want their parents to become involved and are afraid of the consequences if they tell you and the person who is doing the bullying finds out. Encourage your child to talk about what happened. Tell your child that reporting the bullying is okay. Assure your child that it is NOT their fault. It can be upsetting for you to find out your child is being bullied or that your child has been reluctant to tell you. Draw on your own networks to get support for yourself while you are helping your child. Give your child the Kids Helpline telephone number and web address if they ask to talk to someone other than the school, or you don't feel able to support them.
Discuss strategies with your child and set a short period of time to see if they can resolve the situation. Many students want to try to deal with the bullying themselves if they get useful tips about what to do. Use your judgement about their suitability for your child's situation. For teens, talk about the tips and advice in the For teens section on what to do at school, away from school, at work, or online.