If you value your relationship you have to develop trust. Start by telling each other things like how you lost your virginity; your greatest fear; your worst moment. It needs to be a gradual process, so take it gently. If you feel you can't trust your partner, check whether this is based on fact or irrational fears. If you are sure they are not, then talk to your partner about it. Or there are external pressures: your families want you to marry; you're scared you won't find anyone else.
You can't force someone to commit to you; equally you cannot con yourself that love will miraculously appear when you get married or have children. If commitment is the big issue in your relationship then you need an honest, no-holds-barred discussion. Obviously this depends on your situation, but it is valid if you have been together for some time or are on the verge of some external commitment mortgage, kids, even a pet.
If you're not compatible in the fundamentals: your age, race, culture, social and religious background, you will have far greater challenges than many couples. Make certain that your relationship is in peak health in the communication and trust areas. However you might be as similar as two peas in a pod and still have problems.
Sarah Litvinoff suggests you put yourself in your partner's shoes and describe yourself through their eyes.
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Check on points you think your partner finds irritating or would like to change about you. Discuss whether you got it right. Then swap places. You may have scored quite highly in several areas. Does this mean you should ditch your relationship? Psychologist John Gottman found that in a stable and healthy relationship, positivity outweighed negativity by the ratio of about In unstable relationships it was less than Buy As Gift. Find common ground in new mutual goals. Show More. Table of Contents Acknowledgments and Gratitude vii Prologue ix Introduction 1 1 discovering the stumbles 9 2 the healing plan 23 3 from fulfillment to disillusionment 42 4 from excitement to boredom 65 5 from constructive challenges to destructive conflicts 89 6 from sacrificing for your partner to self-preservation 7 from being a team to operating solo 8 from feeling unconditionally loved to being on trial 9 from focusing on the relationship to pursuing outside interests 10 from common goals to different dreams 11 creating a stumble-proof future suggested reading Average Review.
Write a Review. Related Searches. Healthy relationships require trust, intimacy, effective communication, and understanding. However, if you suffer from chronic However, if you suffer from chronic anxiety you may have trouble dealing with everyday conflicts and tensions that can arise in relationships.
No matter how committed you are, anxiety can leave View Product. Many people who hoard understand the extent of their problem and are open to help. This book is not for them. Digging Out is for the concerned and frustrated friends and family members of people who do not fully accept Living and Loving after Betrayal: How to Heal. Betrayal has many faces, including anger, abuse, deceit, and infidelity. These feel like betrayal because What do you truly love and appreciate about this individual? The recipient of your letter will cherish your words forever and think about it often.
The physical benefits of forgiveness are undeniable. As researchers have found, while holding onto resentment contributes to increased heart disease and weakened immunity, letting go of old grudges reduces stress, anxiety, and depression. People who forgive tend to have better relationships, feel happier and more optimistic, and enjoy greater psychological wellbeing.
It is easy to be negative about past mistakes, unhappiness, and those we feel have wronged us. However, it is much more healing to look at ourselves and our past in the light of experience, acceptance, and growth. Some of us have emerged from the most painful circumstances with strong insights about who we are and what we want. If we look deeply, we will see that our mistakes have been absolutely necessary.
Our frustrations, failures, and stumbling attempts to grow have been necessary, too. Each step of the way, we learned. We went through exactly the experiences we needed to become who we are today. Our past is not a mistake. The only mistake we can make is not learning from our mistakes. If what you are doing or the way you are being right now no longer serves you, you can wipe the slate clean and start again.
As a big fan of the healing power of mantras, I often recommend using the simple mantra I thank you. I bless you. I release you. What activities fill you with happiness and pleasure? Do you like to walk your dog, go to the gym, watch football, practice yoga, or go for a hike and be in awe of Mother Nature? Keep it simple: do what you love! This week, choose one activity from your list and schedule time to do it.